What Holotropic Breathwork Means to Me

Two-and-a-half years ago I had no idea what breathwork was and was up for dealing with trauma (or not dealing with trauma) through the pursuit of healthy relationships, therapy, booze, forced fun, SSRIs, SNRIs and the odd men’s group.

Nevermind what I’d endured as a kid, as a teen, throughout chunks of my adulthood. That was old news.

Nevermind the gutful I’d had of talking with psychs who kind of understood what I meant, empathised for the hour I paid them for and called out everyone who’d done me poorly from the safety of their office. They had listened.

Nevermind the medications I’d taken for well over a decade that had left me feeling like I was drifting in space and with the build of an astronaut, suit included. Those had kept me from the edge.

Right place, right time

Breathwork had bobbed up in random ads on my Facebook feed without any context. ‘Come along to this hall in a coastal suburb and lie on the floor with a bunch of random people and breathe it out’. I’d hyperventilated for a high before, sure, but this didn’t quite make sense.

By the next week, Amanda had been contacted by a friend whose new husband was needing someone to practise on, study, monitor, hold space for, all of the above. Breathwork, one on one. Even better, my breathwork canvas was so blank it was almost transparent.

This brilliant man was studying to become a breathwork facilitator, albeit in a different discipline to Holotropic Breathwork, but with similar energy, safety and support.

I’ll always remember my first breathe. No one had sat and watched me breathe for close to an hour before (as far as I’m aware) and it was also the very first time that my head had felt completely empty. From years of overthinking and anxiety to this? It was glorious. And drug-free.

Aside from the juvenile hyperventilating, I’d never really focused on my own breath before either. Breathing was something I’d just always done, right?

But breathing, now breathwork, soon became a sanctuary, the perfect therapy without words - once a week every week for almost three months. 

I couldn’t quite believe where I travelled when on the mat; from reliving my forceps birth to reframing my relationship with my dad, truly confronting suicidal ideation in my 20s and workaholism in my 30s, to identifying true friendships among a sea of many faces. So many things I had never properly addressed when ‘upright’.

So to keep breathing

My time as the student’s student ended in June 2022. Later that year, Amanda and I signed up for a Holotropic Breathwork double breathwork weekend in Miami, Florida. (Stanislav Grof book in hand, we were already heading to the US for a family wedding.) By the time we got there in March ‘23, we had done an online module and were plotting our path to facilitation - so absorbing was our introduction.

Another online module in August ‘23 prefaced a Serpentine retreat run by our friend Suzanne, then in April this year Amanda and I made the Australian Holotropic Breathwork ‘pilgrimage’ (I use that term respectfully but suitably) to Poatina in Tasmania for two weeks of breathing, sitting, studying and sharing space with our peers; the most wonderful, supportive community of people I’ve ever encountered.   

Holotropic Breathwork is different to any other breathwork you might have done. My foray into conscious connected breathwork was life-changing. My affinity with Holotropic Breathwork has been life-defining.

It has strengthened each of the major relationships in my life. It has supported me in exploring my identity. It has helped me navigate major career change and financial trauma. It has given me greater awareness and empathy, for myself and others. It has confirmed multiple times that I’m right where I need to be.     

Of course I can’t predict or promise an experience for you. Yes, you’ll breathe for three hours at a time and those three hours might feel like 10 minutes or a whole day.

You could feel euphoria, despair, horror, curiosity or the longest hug you’ve ever received. You could feel nothing, which you’ll hopefully come to understand is actually something. 

Holotropic Breathwork will take you places you won’t necessarily expect but where your ‘inner healer’ (your guide, the you inside you!) wants you to go. 

Simply, my hope for you is to discover a Holotropic Breathwork experience that stays with you well beyond any retreat you sign up for. 

And in case you’re wondering, holotropic means ‘moving toward wholeness’. Can confirm I am.

Steve

July 2024